Very Sick Jokes Q: Whats the best thing about having sex with a 10 year old? A: You can pretend shes 5. Q: Whats the best thing about having sex with a 5 yr old? A: When you hear her pelvis break. Q: Whats the worst thing about having sex with a 5 yr old? A: When she says shes had better. Q: What do women and spaghetti have in common? A: They both squirm when you eat them. Q: Whats 69 and 69? A: Dinner for four. Q: Why don't chickens wear underwear? A: Because their peckers are on their faces. Q: Whats worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper? A: Being fingered by Captain Hook. Q: Whats worse than lobsters on your piano? A: Crabs on your organ. Did you hear about the nympho at the hotel pool? She was barred from the area after the lifeguard saw her go down for the third time. Q: How do you make a hormone? A: Don't pay her. Q: Why have lepers got soft heads? A: So their friends can dip their chips in. Did you hear about the Leper Card game? One threw his hand in, one laughed his head off and one cried his eyes out. Q: Whats the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'? A: About 4 inches. Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A:When he eats his first Brownie. Q: Whats the difference between Like and Love? A: Spit and Swallow. Q: How does a women hold her liquor? A: By the ears. Q: Whats the difference between men and jelly beans? A: Jelly beans come in difference colours. Q: What do Rubiks cube and a penis have in common? A: The longer you play with it, the harder it gets! Q: Why do female paratroopers wear jockstraps? A: So they don't whistle on the way down. Q: How can you tell a macho women? A: She rolls her own tampons. Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They're both filled with stiffs - only ones coming and ones going. Q: How do you know that a female bartender is pissed off with you? A: There's a string hanging out of your bloody Mary. Q: How do you recycle a used tampon? A: As a tea-bag for vampires. Q: What do you get if you cross Bananarama with a Vibrator? A: Wet, Wet, Wet Q: Whats 12 inchs long and stiff in the morning? A: Cot-death. How do you get four poofs on a barstool? Turn it upside down What do elephants use as tampons? Sheep What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job Did you hear about the poof who got fired from the Sperm Bank? He was caught drinking on the job What do you do in case of fallout? Put it back in and take shorter strokes What's better than a rose on your piano? Two lips on your organ What is the definition of pure agony ? F**king a meat mincer! What's a 68? You do me, and I'll owe you one! Why does Nancy Reagan always climb on top? Because Ronnie can only f*ck up Why do women have two holes so close together? In case you miss How do you tell if a woman is wearing underwear? Look for dandruff on her shoes What's the height of confusion? Fathers Day in Brixton What's the ultimate in rejection? When your wanking hand falls asleep What is organic dental floss? Pubic hair What are the three greatest lies? a)the cheque is in the post b)small is beatiful c)I won't come in your mouth Q :How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid ? A :When you open her legs the lights go on Q :Why did the pervert cross the road? A :Because he got his n*b stuck in the chicken? Q :Why did God give women legs? A :Well, think of the mess a snail makes!